Yesterday I got an email about a petition to stop the execution of Akmal Shaikh, the mentally ill Asian man in China who has now been executed for drug smuggling.  Have no fear, I am not going to be making light of that or attempt to sarcastically explore any of the issues surrounding capital punishment, the culpability of mentally ill criminals or our relationship with China in this blog, don’t you worry about that…

What I do want to address, however, is the thing I noticed in the email asking for my support that I see mentioned an awful lot in things like this.  It stated the argument that if he was “white and from Chelmsford” then the media would have intervened and, at the very least, given a shit.  Now, I understand this attitude and there is a lot of truth behind the sentiment.  There is an excellent bit in the excellent Shooting Dogs where the war reporter explains the difference between Bosnia and Rwanda as being that in Bosnia all the dead people could have been her mother or her daughter but in Rwanda it’s just another dead African.  This sort of attitude does prevail globally so I understand the righteous anger of such a statement.  It’s just that, without wishing to sound unduly flippant, it’s a bit mean to Essex.  Essex always gets this treatment.  Any cause worth getting behind that is being ignored is often epilogued with “If this was a builder from Basildon/Hairdresser from Romford/Student from Southend then the media would be all over it”.

I know Essex is awesome and that everyone from Essex is the absolute embodiment of a National Treasure but it is ridiculous to expect anyone from Essex to gain preferential treatment in the media highlighting their cause. 

In fact, I can’t think of a single example of someone from Essex in trouble with foreign agencies being championed by the popular press.  There were two Egyptian Students that the Echo ran a piece about a few years ago but this cause was raised mainly due to all the hard work of the families and I saw nothing in The Guardian, Mirror or Mail about it…To be honest, I can’t even think of any examples of people from Essex who done wrong abroad and completely deserved their fate that have been condemned or even mentioned in the National Press.  Historically, culturally and legally I can’t think of any reason, let alone reasons, that Essex should always be considered an ignorant, white, den of iniquity with a media darling get out of jail free card.  Yet this is apparently how we are perceived throughout the rest of the UK.

Also, Championing in the press is largely the domain of the well to do middle classes and whilst Essex has some nice gentrified bits and a blossoming artsy population it isn’t anywhere middle class enough to get any broadsheets to give a shit about it.  Just compare the attitudes in the press to the Madeline McCann situation and the Shannon Matthews situation.  When both happened initially both appeared to be pretty much the same.  Only difference is that one was a tragedy, an awful disaster that befall two doctors on holiday in the Algarve and the other was only to be expected if you let people like that breed, it’s just what happens to those sorts of people.  Essex falls squarely in the latter category and, in case you are wondering, The McCanns are not from Essex.

The only other time I can think of any of the press really going to bat for someone British was the Louise Woodward baby drop thing in the US and that was years ago.  And that was really only because the world had just seen America let OJ Simpson get away with murder because the policeman who arrested him was racist.  Rather than deal with both issues separately they decided that they needed to pick the worst one and only deal with that and, unfortunately for the family of OJ’s murdered wife, racist cop beats murdering celebrity in American Law Top Trumps.  So, needless to say, when almost one week later (so it seemed) one of our girls was up on charges of accidental baby murder and the American legal system was gunning for her we sure as bloody hell weren’t gonna stand for another miscarriage of American justice regardless of whether she did it or not.  No Sireee!  We didn’t ask, we didn’t care, that wasn’t the point.  Our message was clear: you don’t let a clearly guilty murderer go and then try to throw the book at an English lady who may possibly not have done what you are insisting she did on purpose.  Also, again, Louise Woodward is not from Essex…

That’s it really, just think of us Essex folk next time you want to use someone as an example for lazy, disinterested attitudes of the popular press.  And rather than sully the good name of all Essex based manual labourers, why not say “if X was a doctor on holiday who irresponsibly and criminally neglected their basic parenting duties then the media would be all over it” or what about “if X was a white girl who killed a child through negligence right after a black man was acquitted of a murder he clearly did then the media would be all over it”.  Those two would be far more appropriate when getting your point across…

That is all…

Hello,

Well, what a lovely Christmas that was.  I had a lovely time at my cousin’s house eating too much, drinking a lot and devising practical jokes with the kids to play on my aunty.  Certainly my favourite was the grapefruit cordial instead of rosé.  Boom!  Take that Aunty…

I ate so much food on Boxing Day that I had to lay down after my lunch to let it digest.  I almost went into a coma so that my body could process all that had been consumed.  When I got in on Boxing Day evening I couldn’t sleep for much the same reason.  I actually couldn’t sleep because my body was focusing all it’s attention on processing the food and drink in my system.  Brilliant!

Managed to avoid watching much television as well, which was great.  I can’t watch television anymore.  Everything about it irritates me.  If I don’t really, really want to watch it then I go straight to the other extreme of I can’t stand it.  I can’t just have it on in the background as noise, I would rather have it switched off and not deal with it at all.  I just hate watching TV.  This is always tricky when people want to watch things as I am aware that it is me being a misery and I shouldn’t inflict my misery on the others.  Thankfully the programmers this year saved me a lot of grief by putting bugger all on for even the most casual viewer to enjoy so the telly stayed off.

I managed to avoid watching Dr Who, which I don’t watch anymore anyway.  However, I couldn’t avoid watching Catherine Tate’s Christmas Special and the Ant and Dec House Party thing.  Now, Ant and Dec is not my cup of tea but it was certainly consistent in tone and content to the audience it was aimed at and I have to, objectively, give them that.  If you are the sort of person who likes ITV and all it has to offer then Ant and Dec’s Crinkly Bottom would have been like watching a kaleidoscope of all your favourite things in one show.  Just because it is everything and everyone I hate is besides the point.  It wasn’t made for me, it was made for idiots and idiots would have been over the moon.

Catherine Tate, however, was just shit.  Inexcusably shit.  I expected nothing else as she has yet to make me laugh in anything she does and is one of the main contributing factors of my giving up on Dr Who.  The roaring way she drags out the start of any sentence that shows her credulity “GGRRRRRRYYOooou wwwwhhhhaaaattt?” to her teary eye nonsense was the straw that broke the camel’s back – a back that had only just recovered from it’s near snapping by Billie Piper. 

Her special was annoying on many levels.  It was scrooge with Nan, her ‘hilarious’ sweary old lady character that loads of people who hate swearing in comedy seem to like.  Apart from it being rubbish generally it was also rubbish in terms of comedy devices which annoyed me.  I’ll give you an example: Ben Miller appeared as the ghost who couldn’t move through walls or float so he stood on tables flapping his arms about going ‘woooo’ to prove he really could fly and was definitely a ghost. Seriously, 2009, that was one of the set pieces.  When he appeared Nana wanted proof if ID and after lots of hilarious (I am not going to continue to put hilarious in inverted commas, you know I am being sarcastic) back and forth Ben Miller proclaimed that he had a 17th century docket to which Nan replied “none of that language here”.  Now, I have three issues with this ‘joke’.  Firstly, a docket is a diary of pending court cases and therefore would not be suitable as ID.  It occasionally identifies cargo but that’s it.  It is not the passport substitute the writer clearly inferred it was.  Secondly, it doesn’t sound anything like fuck it which it is clearly supposed to sound like for the purposes of the joke.  It doesn’t even sound rude at all.  Thirdly, Nana has already said shit and fuck about three times each prior to this bit so she clearly has no issue with bad language.  So not only is that a shit joke (one of the best in the show though), it is also intrinsically flawed in its internal logic.  This is the sort of writing that plagued the show.  I have seen funnier war-zone reportage.

People always wish we could go back to the sort of entertainment that they remember from their youth but surely spending a fortune on lazy shows that use lame jokes that were first written in the 60s is not really a solution…

Still, I quite enjoyed the MGM musicals Proms thing despite not knowing any of the songs till the last quarter of the show. Just amusing to see Seth MacFarlane singing show tunes.  Think the make up people over did the fake tan, though.  Seth and Curtis Stigers were so orange it looked like they were about to present Loose Women.  Yeah, see – I can do real comedy…

That’s all from me. 

I was going to discuss Essex and Twitter but I think I will do that tomorrow…

Have been snowed in since Thursday.  I ventured out Monday and lost my phone, but found it again outside my house frozen like Jerry in the Christmas Eve Tom and Jerry cartoon and left it on the heater to dry out.  My sim is not damaged but the phone is dead as disco.  Till replacement can be found I am really only contactable via cyberspace

Well, I am not up to date on all my xmas shopping.  Quite easy to do really given that we have all decided to not get anything for each other this year to save money.  One quick trip to Tescos and I was done. How glamorous – I don’t even go to tescos to buy food yet all my presents gleaned from their shelves.  I am not made for Xmas shopping.  I hate crowds, I hate queues and I hate Xmas songs.  Even the 45 minutes I was out for the only shopping trip I made this xmas I was nearly psychotic by hearing all the warbling, awful Christmas songs.  Christmas itself I quite like but if that singer got his wish and it was xmas everyday would we only ever hear xmas songs on the radio?  I think I would take up arms if that were the case…

As I am always up late I watched Michael Palin on Hardtalk on BBC2.  What was odd was that for a show called Hard Talk the questions were pretty bloody lazy, harmless and unoriginal.  I know Michael Palin is a lovely man by all accounts and not likely to be a firebrand of political or personal opinion but as a fan of python I could have gone on in his place and answered all his questions for him as there wasn’t a single question I hadn’t heard Palin and the other pythons get asked at least 10 times by interviewers not claiming to offering “Hardtalk”.  The man asking questions just had a serious, barking voice in which he asked the questions Would Python get made now?  Life of Brian was a bit controversial wasn’t it?  Hard Talk indeed…

Just got interrupted in writing this by a another bloody telesales call.  Wrote a huge blog about how much I hate telesales and cold callers but because nearly all my cold callers are Asian it was nearly impossible to explain my hatred of cold callers without incorrectly sounding racist, which I am not.  It’s not the ethnicity of the employees that that annoys me it’s the job call centres do.  But because I really, really hate call centres phoning me up the bile may appear to be misplaced.  Phoning me up to ask me to take part in a survey and then not getting off the phone just boils my blood.  I am so rude to call centres.  I surprise even myself.  This happened not 15 minutes ago and I am usually worse…

“Hello”
“Is Jonathan Sandling there?” 
“No, he’s not in at the moment”
“Are you related to Jonathan?”
“Yes”
“May I take your name”
“No”
“Are you over 18 years old?”
“Yes”
“How old are you?”
“I am not telling you”
“Are you related or just a friend”
“Why?”
“Well maybe you can help me”
“Probably not if you just want to sell me something”
“I don’t want to sell you something, I just want your opinion”
“Believe me, you don’t”
“Well when will Jonathan be back?”
“I don’t know, is it important or are you just wasting our time.”
“When would be a good time to call back?”
“Well, if it’s important I’ll take a message and get him to call you right now – if it’s urgent but if all you are going to do is waste his fucking time then never is a good time to call him back.  Never.”
“Oh…Okay…Would you maybe be-”
“Oh fuck off!”
 
Phone down quick check on 1471 to find the number has been withheld.  Course it has, imagine if we got hold of their number and called them up at an inopportune moment and wasted their time.

The other thing that I hate is when my bank or credit card phone me up so naturally I take the call thinking it might be about my overdraft or something important and then it transpires they are just trying to get me upgrade or get some insurance or something and my account is all in order and I have nothing to worry about.  That doesn’t happen all that often because I don’t ever give out my home number and never answer private/withheld numbers on my mobile.

Have made two awful Christmas gaffs this year.  I keep wishing people a merry xmas with the additional “whatever it is you do” meaning that I have no idea what they, as an individual, do for xmas and that I wish them to have a good time whatever it is they will be doing.  However, due to crossed purposes I have seemingly offended at least three Jewish people who thought I meant “Have a merry xmas, whatever it is you do.  You know, as a people.  I mean, I don’t know.  Can you get Kosher Turkeys? Don’t get upset with me, come on, let’s be honest, you did kill Santa”.  Also, in my predictive text ICY and GAY are the same.  So let’s add homophobia to the list of things I am not yet seem to have been this Christmas when I texted people complaining that “I FUCKING HATE EVERYTHING BEING DANGEROUSLY GAY!”.  Isn’t Ricky Gervais a millionaire by pretending this sort of thing happens to him?  Why do I have to actually endure these gaffes and remain penniless?

 

Have no more professional work booked in till the New Year so will have to find things to do to pass the time while I am on my sabbatical.  I think I will write a play, do some more music, watch some films, plough through some TV shows and sort out the film I am making in Feb.  Check that bad boy out here http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/group.php?gid=219504279328&ref=ts

 

 

Hello,

I am not writing in a sarcastic tone designed to infer any of you are idiots and that I know best (for a change) but I have finally got round to watching Battlestar Galactica as everyone has been going on about how good it is for years.  I have watched the feature length pilot and about 7 or so episodes of the first series and I really, really want to know this: When is it going to get good?

I genuinely want to know what is going on with the show.  Millennium, one of my favourite shows ever, took about 13 episodes to really get into its stride and even then it was series II that was the thing you were waiting for so I don’t mind persisting to be rewarded but so far NOTHING is happening in Battlestar.  I am not engaged or entertained at all and am only watching it because I have been promised the sci-fi experience of my life by the entire planet and I want to be up to speed when that kicks in.  Is it going to kick in?

All that has happened is that a small band of survivors float about in space having survived humanity’s genocide by robots.  So, every episode so far has largely been about the socio-political ramifications of this.  It’s not fun.  There isn’t any Space adventure stuff to enjoy.  I suppose it’s trying to be a drama, but it isn’t dramatic or gripping or interesting.  As a fan of Cold War thrillers and British Dramas of the 70’s/80’s I love nothing more than watching people sit around and have a chat but this is just talk.  There is no drama.  Everyone is playing it straight and acting like this is a serious work dealing with serious themes but there is nothing dramatic ever happening.  It probably doesn’t help that the Cylons are both lame and non existent.  The villains of the piece are shit and don’t even appear or do anything in most episodes

All the characters are largely unlikeable.  Well, not unlikeable, but there are no actively likeable characters and I couldn’t give two shits what happens to any of them.  Honestly, if the cylons did ever turn up and kill everyone I would be quite glad because the remainder of the human race are all bland, annoying pricks.  None of the characters are memorable or exciting.  There aren’t any ‘cool’ characters to get behind and root for.  There are no Avons or Picards.  I have watched 7 hours or so of it and apart from about three characters I can’t remember anyone’s name as they just aren’t memorable as actors or characters.

Starbuck just goes out of her way to be a prick about everything and is NOT an anti-hero, she isn’t sticking it to the man and dancing to her own tune, she’s just an irritating, arrogant dickhead.  I suppose in the script she is supposed to be ‘strong’ but she is not Maverick, she is Ice Man – and we all hate Ice Man, because he’s a prick….

The Saucy Cylon in the head of the Doctor was tiresome after the first episode.  I suppose she’s supposed to be a sexy space vamp/femme fatale but it’s just dull and irritating. 

No one else is memorable enough to get a mention…

It’s like watching 24 but never leaving the white house, with the occasional CTU romance bullshit.  What this show needs is some Jack Bauer character sorting out some shit.  Or some adventures.  Or dare I say it, to boldly go somewhere and do something.  Anything.  At the moment it’s like watching a day in the life of the UN – and that doesn’t interest me in real life…

People tell me it is really doing interesting stuff and furthering sci-fi but apart from making missiles fly in a bit of a curve I haven’t seen anything yet that I haven’t already seen done better or more effectively previously.  As a fan and viewer of Blake’s 7, all Star Trek, Babylon 5, Farscape, Firefly, Stargate and Lexx I have seen all of this done already with a lot more fun and drama and with better ideas.  It only appears to be the budget that is superior in BG.

Is this show, as it is, the thing that is supposed to be awesome?  Is it never going to turn into a high calibre action adventure show?  I know a lot of people who like it and know their interests and I know they aren’t going or orgasm about a show that spends a whole 42 minutes dealing with people looking for water and finding it while nothing genuinely dramatic or fun occurs.

Now, it could be, as is often the case with a lot of things I don’t like that other people really like, that I have seen this sort of thing done many times previously and they haven’t.  For Example, I usually own all the films Tarantino rips off for his films and find I would rather re-watch those than his ham-fisted attempt to ‘do’ them because I have seen it already and like what has already been done.

But I don’t believe this to be the case across the board with BG as people will have watched Sci-Fi before but The socio-political drama is nowhere near as good as Babylon 5, Voyager and Deep Space Nine which deals with much of the same themes and problems.  The characters aren’t as well drawn or interesting as Blake’s 7, Firefly, Lexx or Star Trek, all of which have the right blend of Good guys, heroes, anti heroes, warriors, love interests and comic relief.  The stories, adventures and sci-fi are practically non existent up the point I am at presently – even the 45 minute episodes of Star Trek where they have to adjudicate Land right issues are better than this and, as I said before, The Cylons are shit and completely non threatening or scary.  There isn’t time to list all the pre-existing villains that they are not as good as, but suffice to say, it includes the 1978 cylons.

As I say I am not trying to be contentious or sarcastic, I am ready and willing to love this show and get swept up in its awesomeness.  I genuinely want to know what is good about it and when it will kick itself up a notch because everyone has been banging on for years about how awesome and life changing it is but so far I haven’t even found it average…

Hello, I am currently snowed in.  Not that i really mind as I have lots of things to watch and do at home.  It's not even that bad but I am not risking the journey to London in this...

So, what have I been up to?  Well, me and Stu had two great gigs with The Amatuer Transplants who I had never seen live before and I thoroughly enjoyed the gig as a whole, Kiosk's contribution and the Amateur Transplants.

I have finished watching Firefly.  Good stuff.  Everyone is happy that I am watching something by Joss Whedon.  Apparently, you aren't allowed to be into sci-fi/fantasy and think that both Buffy and Angel are a load of toilet.  yet I do. I really do.  I haven't managed to get through an episode of it yet.  I just can't stand watching it.  I can't quite put my finger on what it is but given that Buffy is the model for RTD's Dr Who and I hate that too, I am sure I am at least consistent...

Is anyone watching Paradox?  is it any good?  The trailer and casting suggests not but so did the trailers for Life on mars and that was ACE!  I find it ironic that the show is about working out whether you should get involved in something terrible or not as every time I see the trailer I feel like I only have days to stop it being shown. 

Given the BBC's recent record on sci-fi I am slightly dreading the new Day of The Triffids.  It's possibly my favourite book ever written.  It has my favourite ever opening paragraph to a book.  The casting of the new one is good but what with Dr Who, Torchwood, Survivors, Paradox and the recent Dracula updates etc, I just think it's going to be awful.  Poorly made but still popular tripe.  I won't watch it, but please feel free to let me know if I should catch it once it has been on.  If you haven't read (or seen) Day of the triffids I recommend doing so.  The film is not very good but the original BBC series from 1981 is really, really good.  A bit slow by today's standards and expectations but solid nonetheless.  If you know nothing of Day of the Triffids, it's 28 days later with plants instead of Not Zombies.  And I mean it's exactly like 28 days later to the point where I am surprised that The Estate of John Wyndham didn't sue.  Day of The Dead Triffids would have been a better title...

Facebook have started turning themselves into Myspace and trying to annoy us into jumping ship.  Or have they?  is it not just a storm in a tea cup all this privacy settings nonsense?  I am never one to say "well if you have nothing to hide, what are you worried about" because I hate people that stupid and dangerously complacent about trusting power mad loons with their personal information.  But, that said, This privacy issue is, like most political stuff issues, something I don't really care about or understand.  As a frequent googlebater I often check to see if anyone is mentioning me or my work across the globe and I usually end up finding guestbook entries I wrote when I was 19 years old. because of this I have always treated my online contribution as something everyone can see and so assumed these privacy settings were already in place anyway.  Frankly, it's a shock to know they weren't.

I have a great solution to the privacy settings issue.  If you want to avoid any issues with privacy then the easiest and simplest way to avoid all of this worry and grief is to make it compulsory to add your mum as a friend.  That way you will never put any status updates out there or upload any photos etc you aren't happy for anyone to see.  That would just save an awful lot of bother.  You know what, If I am happy for my mum to read it then I am happy for the CIA to read it.  Obviously, I don't actually want the CIA reading my stuff but as I continue to use Facebook and google despite knowing that the CIA run it and read it all the time then it would be ridiculous to get annoyed that all the world can see my stuff when I am usually only promoting the gigs I am doing in order to get global recognition (or to tell you I am hungover).  People should have a bit of restraint in what information they freely share about themselves.  If you are going to go online with status updates like "Results came back positive, how am I going to tell Jane?" or upload an album of yourself at the abortion clinic then privacy settings won't help you - you are an idiot with no sense of what is appropriate.  Yes, the privacy things are confusing and probably a violation of civil/human something or other but a bit of self restraint and not being a prick about it and it won't make any difference.  It hasn't to me.  I hope the CIA and MI5 are as excited as I am about making the film in February that I am making.  I hope they will be coming to the FIX benefit that I am hosting on Monday at the Bloomsbury Theatre. 

I am being facetious of course, but do consider that not everyone out there needs to know the minutiae of your every waking moment, especially if it involved something contentious or libellous or personal.  I am all for a running twitter commentary as you highlight your day (I am following you of my own free will after all) but, for example, when you are on the C2C from Benfleet all the way to Fenchurch Street, perhaps that 42 minutes could be better spent than loudly discussing your sister's miscarriage and your divorce on your mobile phone or loudly complaining about something and repeatedly giving out your credit card details for us all to hear all the while shouting down the phone at some call center drone who, like everyone in the carriage, wishes you would would just shut up and fuck off as we couldn't care less.  For example.  Perhaps you shouldn't go on national television to have an argument with your spouse about his/her cheating on you.  Perhaps there are things that you should keep to yourself and discuss with your friends and family in private.  The sort of things privacy settings wouldn't affect.  It's just a thought...

Am a bit concerned about my mental state.  Not genuinely worried like it's time to book myself into a looney bin or anything, but I am feeling a bit odd.  I think it's because of the music I am doing.  Basically I have found myself feeling compelled to keep writing and recording music on my computer.  And I really do mean compelled.  I had no gigs Sunday, Monday, Tuesday so I spent almost the entire time I was awake drinking coffee and composing music.  Music that is about Space and the Fear, Apprehension and isolation one will very likely experience whilst in space for whatever reason you are travelling the galaxies for.  This is not a metaphor for my life by the way, although now I come to think of it I do sit in all day on my own recording this stuff...I don't really know why I am writing it, it's not as if anyone has asked me to or when it is done will ever want to hear it or, heaven forbid, buy it - yet record it I must.  I MUST.  If that wasn't enough existential burden, I am spending my free time away from the music finishing off the Illuminatus! Trilogy, a largely inaccessible yet completely gripping, fascinating and amazing tale of Conspiracy Theories which, so I have been told via people and the internet, is one of (if not the) first book to popularise these conspiracy theories and bring Esoterica to a more general audience.  It meanders in and out of 1st - 3rd person narratives and often when it is 1st person you have no initial idea who is speaking.  The time line is skewed and confusing, yet it is really fascinating reading. I only mainly started reading it because it was a huge influence on The KLF who are one of my favourite bands of all time.  I have all their stuff - some of it rare/banned and on vinyl...Mu Mu land, The Jams, "everyone lie down on the floor and keep calm" is all in the book.  A proper good read, albeit an occasional struggle.  If those two things weren't enough, when I finish and I am relaxing before I go to sleep I am watching Fringe, the X-Files style drama series about Fringe/pseudo science, government conspiracies and alternate dimensions.  I'm not getting carried away believing all the nonsense, I do not hold Fringe or The Illuminatus! trilogy up as Gospel truth but they do both contain interesting ideas about what's 'really' going on and, to be fair, I really find that sort of 'philosophy' fascinating.  I love all that shit!

I have also decided to spend all of February making a film.  Again, there is no real point to it, no one has asked me to and there is no money in it but I feel like it would be a great thing to do.  It's part of a competition like the 48 hour film challenges but this one is 28 days and you must complete a feature.  The feature must be inspired by B-Movies and I know no more than that yet.  I am very much looking forward to making a ridiculous piece of digital cinema for a whole month.

Other than that just plodding along.  Must dash, got a good idea for a riff...

Friday was exactly as planned.  A night in eating Chinese food and watching the 3.5 hour version of Watchmen with the Black Freighter inserted.  This also meant we got to see a lot more of the Newspaper stand stuff which was nice and there was a lot more footage in the scenes I was familar with.  Two cops busting in Rorscharch when he is at the Comedians, that sort of thing.  I really like the film of Watchmen and the Comic Book too.  I really did enjoy watching yet more Watchmen I hadn't seen visualised.  Was happy they  trimmed down the mother/daughter silk spectre stuff but would have liked to have seen the Psychiatrist's descent into 'madness' included.  Would also have liked to have had the scene where Rorscharch confronts his old landlady after he breaks out of prison after she has bad mouthed him to the press and made up lies about him being a rapist etc.  That is a bit I always remember from the comic, would have been nice to see it in the film...

Once again let Dr Night Nurse tuck me in.  Awesome stuff.

In order to recuperate I spent all day Saturday making more music.  I am very happy with it.  It all currently sounds like a 70's Space Horror soundtrack, which wasn't my intention but is fine by me...

Friends 40th in the evening so spent the evening getting drunk in Leigh.  Lovely...Did that foolish thing of carrying on drinking when I got despite the fact that I had clearly had enough.  The mood and the vibe of the party was still upon me and I was still up for it so I watched Crank 2 and drank a big bottle of Kingfisher.

Sunday I woke up very hungover and still ill.  Not that ill anymore, but ill enough that my hangover didn't help at all.  Whatever I wanted for my hangover, I felt too ill to eat or drink and whatever I wanted to eat to boost my immune system I couldn't stomach.  A peculiar day to be sure...I cooked a roast dinner, which isn't something i do despite being something of a chef.  I continued to make music and began to watch Fringe which I must say i am thoroughly enjoying.  Only four episodes in but I do like the horror/sci-fi stuff.  It's basically another X-Files and has been described as X-Files Emo Cousin.  I don't really get that.  There are a lot of complicated relationships that have the potential to get in the way of the excitement but it's hardly Twilight.  The teary looking off pensively let me share your troubled past crap is very, very minor and, unlike Dr Who, isn't essentially a time filler to hide the fact that nothing exciting or interesting is happening.  Fringe has good use of nonsense as plausible premises, excellent pre-title sequences and the ability to combine stand alone tales and a shadowy conspiracy at the same time which is certainly a progression from the X-files, which I absolutely love, but there was an awful lot of smoking man/black goo bollocks I just couldn't give two shits about.  I like the character and appreciate it's relevance and importance but, much like the white house stuff in 24, all it did was draw my attention away from the stuff I was watching the show for.  Who knows, I may revise this opinion of Fringe as the series progresses.  Watch this space.

Oh well, back to Music and Admin. 

BYE!

Should really blog daily, shouldn't I?

Anyway, Saturday was a nice relaxing day where I just made music all day and evening.  I created a song that combines three Goblin songs all mixed together to a beat.  I like it...Track number six on my Dance/Drum 'n' Bass album is coming along nicely.

Sunday I still felt ill and did a gig in London.  Stand up at a music night.  Now, everyone who knows comedy and music knows that stand up and live music do not work and I was fully prepared for this possibility.  I have done this gig before, as Kiosk, and it was great because the audience bought into the concept but they sadly didn't on Sunday.  Once the band finished everyone left and I played to a mostly empty room.  The only people remaining being people without English as a first language in front of me and a group of friends to my left who decided to treat my set as an extension of the preceding break and have a loud and lively catch up. So my set was me speaking over continual chit chat to vacated room. As I say, I was prepared for this so I just ploughed on through and then left to come home.

Monday I spent all day with The Twins and Elmsy filming and editing my End of the decade videos where I chose my five favourite films and summed up the decade in under 10 minutes.  Remakes, Piracy, Death of Video is the very very short version...That was fun.  I love filming stuff...

Tuesday was the final of the sitcom trial.  For some reason we had to Soundcheck at 3.20pm so I spent the following 4 hours getting drunk with Dave Jones.  We didn't win the Sit Com trials, but the most deserving one did.  I was feeling really tired and still ill from friday and not at all in the mood for it to be honest.  I did our bit and it went okay to be honest.  We got good laughs and a good reaction. Normally I would have gone out with everyone and had a good ol' piss up like I usually did bit I was just too weary.  The whole thing was finally done and dusted at 11pm and I had been in London for over 8 hours to do 10 minutes of performing.  I was in no mood to party.

Wednesday I MC'd Shepherd's Bush Studios.  It was tough.  A good bill but the audience were a bit of a struggle.  Firstly, they were all media types which, for some reason, means they are genetically predisposed to being bored, blase and disinterested in anyone and anything.  They also hadn't paid to get in as it was their work bar which also means they hadn't made the financial investment which psychologically invested their interest in the night.  These are two major problems and normally I can deal with this but tonight I was in the unfortunate position of having food poisoning.  Now, for libel reasons I don't want to put into print the name of the place I got more than I gastrically bargained for but let's just say it is a publicly funded media corporation that you have to pay a license fee to.  It was dodgy nachos and I was in pieces.  Trying to MC when all you want to do is faint, puke, poo and lie down is not a good combination.  The prospect of a two hour journey home with no chance of a trip to the loo was not a pleasant one when I left.  But I did get a chance to have a good chat with Paul Foot and Daniel Simonsen and also catch up with Alex Perry so some good did come of it...

Thursday I had to be up early as me and Stu had a meeting in London with TV people.  Can't say too much about it, mainly because it isn't something I envisage even being in with a shout for.  The gig would be a presenting Job for Kiosk as Kiosk.  We both felt it went well but we are already preparing not to be disappointed when Jack Whitehall and Tom Deacon get it instead...Got through the meeting by using cake and caffeine to stave off my feelings of sickness and imminent collapse.  Went home and took it easy (passed out).

Today I did some filming for a project that Tony Way is putting together.  Good fun and a good bunch of people involved.  Again I had to be up early to go to London and again I still feel ill.  I am home now and looking forward to a Chinese Take Away and The Directors Cut of Watchmen with the black freighter cut in.

Doing the maths I haven't felt well for over a week now and I haven't had a good gig since Perfect Movie.  I don't know if both are related or what I can do about either.  Have a few days off from gigging now so must try to get myself in order to rock hard through Xmas...